My friends, they love my intelligence
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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