this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
