She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize