I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize