whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Someone came in the potted fern
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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