Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
