So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
