So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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