Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
