I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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