He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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