Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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