Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize