if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
