as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
