And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
barbara walters just said penis...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
