Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
