Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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