Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
