if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize