Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
