I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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