Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
