Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
