Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
