i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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