he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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