I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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