It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
