He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
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you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
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its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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