mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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