just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
