I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
