Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
