I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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