I just cut my nipple shaving
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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