You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
