It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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