what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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