hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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