When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
