yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
