Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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