sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
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I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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