To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
