My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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