He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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