Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
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So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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