Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
