I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
