He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
