The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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