put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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