He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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