I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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