Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
