So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
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I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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