I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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