And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
