it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
