so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
