I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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