Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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