ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
