All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
